doulajohannaFor years, my work has revolved around supporting women through life’s biggest transitions—birth, motherhood, and beyond. But as I raise three daughters, I find myself thinking more and more about the men in their lives. The brothers, friends, colleagues, and future partners they will share this world with. And the truth is, we need strong, healthy, confident men just as much as we need strong, healthy, confident women.
The Silent Struggles of Boys and Men
It’s no secret that boys and men are facing real challenges today. The statistics paint a clear picture: higher suicide rates, declining educational achievement, increasing social isolation. Richard Reeves’ book Of Boys and Men (which deeply inspired this episode) explores this crisis in depth. He highlights how, while we have made incredible progress in empowering women, we have often overlooked the struggles of boys. If you’re interested in diving deeper into this topic, you can check out the book here.
This Isn’t About Going Backwards
I want to be clear—I’m not advocating for a return to outdated gender roles. I don’t want my daughters to shrink themselves to make space for men, just as I wouldn’t want boys to feel like they have to suppress their natural strengths. I want all children to grow up knowing they can express the full range of their personalities. That they can be strong and kind. That they can cry and be resilient. That they can lead and collaborate.
And yet, I worry about the message we’re sending boys. When they are constantly told that masculinity is toxic, that their natural inclinations are dangerous, that the systems aren’t built for them—how do they find their place in the world?
How Can We Support Boys?
We need to make space for boys to thrive, not just expect them to adapt to systems that weren’t built with their needs in mind. Some things to consider:
- Seeking out schools and teachers who understand boys’ learning styles—who allow for movement, curiosity, and hands-on experiences.
- Surrounding them with strong male role models who show them what healthy masculinity looks like.
- Encouraging them to build emotional resilience—not by suppressing their emotions, but by giving them the tools to process and express them in a productive way.
- Letting them be wild and free, climb trees, wrestle, and push their limits—while also teaching them respect, kindness, and responsibility.
- Teaching boys to celebrate women, not see them as competition. And teaching girls to recognize the value of strong, capable men as allies, friends, and partners.
Building a Future Where We All Win
I don’t have sons, but I care deeply about this because I care about men. I care about the kind of world my daughters will grow up in. And I truly believe that when men are supported in becoming their best selves, we all benefit.
If this topic resonated with you and you want to continue this conversation, I invite you to work with me 1:1. My coaching is all about navigating life’s biggest transitions with clarity and confidence—whether you’re a mother raising the next generation or someone who simply wants to create a more balanced and fulfilling life. Let’s talk. You can learn more about working with me here.
And if you’re looking for an insightful read on this topic, don’t forget to check out Of Boys and Men . Every purchase through this link helps support my work.
Let’s build a world where both men and women thrive—together.
